a love story

there is no greater happiness than my hand on your back while you sleep.

tracing your face in the dark, i memorize the changes. there's a scar near your eye i pause by and remember before it was there. how smooth this spot once felt. your lashes, always longer than i dreamed possible, feel soft beneath my fingers.

you're quiet. nothing moves except your chest, slowly rising and falling under my hand.

there's a space inside me that swells when you're near. at times like these, it feels so full and warm with love that i am soothed into this moment, this time, this life with you. no worry matters, as i have you.

i am more than just your mother, but being your mother makes me more than just me.

you are my whole heart.

tick tock

i stood outside the kids' room, listening to them talk and laugh. had a flash of the future, some christmas eve 25 years from now, with them back home, tucking in their own kids. i thought of my future self, watching them, thinking back on tonight when they were just kids, laughing about fairies and magic stars. i teared up, went inside for hugs/kisses/snuggles, round two. rubbed warm bellies, held squishy fingers between my own and tried very hard to imprint the video of the night in my mind so when the future comes, i can know i did everything i could to stop time.